Help Charlie Heal!

Charlie Greenman was born on August 4, 2010. About 12 hours after his delivery, he started having seizures. He had suffered a stroke in utero.

He has become to his family & their friends a living example of humility, love, patience, resilience, and dependence on God. I had the privilege to attend Charlie’s Blessing this past weekend, and Sarah, his mom, gave a few words of gratitude. There is one line that moved me and even more than 24 hours later still makes me cry. Sarah said,

“I’m humbled by him and all of you.”

What amazes me is the peace Sarah portrays. She is staying on course with hope, faith, and thankful for the support of people around her. From this experience that, with no doubt, is difficult and painful, she and her family are experiencing the power of faith and dependence on God (through others).

As she later told me, she feels overwhelmed at times and so vulnerable. It’s from weakness, that we gain strength. It is the love and care of their family, friends and even those they don’t even know that keeps them strong.

And here is a great learning: It is by sharing our feelings and problems with those who love us that we find the support and optimism for life. Sometimes we try too hard to be strong and independence, but God asked us to be humble and depend on Him. It is through the difficult experiences in our life that we seek for that Higher Power that never forgets or abandons us.

I am sure that God has a master plan for The Greenman Family. Charlie will do great things and teach us a lot more!

I want to ask you to please read Charlie’s blog and consider helping his family. Charlie will need the help of many doctors and therapists throughout his life, and the kindness & compassions of all of us could help Sarah & Jack to have a bit more piece of mind financially. Please read his story!

Learn More About Charlie & For Donations

http://charliesfund.blogspot.com/

When in Crisis, ONE Day at a Time!

There are times when we become so overwhelmed with our problems or circumstances. Nothing seems going right, and we feel without strength to keep going and striving.

During these times, the best advice I give to friends is taking "one day at a time, baby!" This allows you to break the problem down into pieces that are easier to digest. The problem then does not seem too big or impossible for you to solve. Just do today what you need to do, and do your best while doing it.

Remember to give thanks for the things you have, the love you have, the people who surround you, and the experiences that have made you the way you are. This will help you gain perspective of what matters in life and remember that you are not alone, but have people who love you and will be there to support and help you.

Also, remember your success stories. I am sure that there have been other tough times in your life when you thought the problem or challenge was too big. And still, you made it! Gain confidence that you have all the skills and strength to get through the tough patch because you have done it before!

Finally, have hope by keeping in mind that it is in weakness that we find strength. As the second letter to the Corinthians says, "We are afflicted in every way, but not constrained; perplexed, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. Therefore, we are not discouraged; rather, although our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison." (Chapter 4, Verses 8-9, 16-17).

He’s Not That Into You Moments

This audiobook is by far one of the funniest things I have heard, but at the same time it’s so liberating!

It frees us women from over-thinking, playing scenarios, and creating excuses for our fellow men. And more importantly, it takes us back to the good-old-times.

My fellow sisters, love is not complicated. If men are interested, they will seek you. If they are not, they will not. Don’t waste your time and beautiful minds in reading between the lines. Don’t confuse any mundane interaction for a date. If he really wants a date, he will ask you out on a date (point blank!). Honestly, it’s so liberating!

There’s not such thing as, “I wanted to slow it down” or “Let’s take some time off.” Why if everything is moving towards the right direction, will you need to slow down? But then, we creative women go with our fantastic reasoning and think that they may be afraid, etc. If he has fears, would you like to marry a guy afraid to make a move or a decision?

Ultimately, God works in marvelous ways and if he is not "the" one is because God has a better, bigger plan in mind. Remember He is higher than us and have a better perspective and outlook in life. Besides, every experience with our fellow brothers is an opportunity for us to grow and learn for the next experience. And please try hard not to create stories on his frustrated past to excuse him, or spend time thinking on all the “would haves” behind your actions… there’s nothing you could have done different for a different outcome. What was is what is the best.

We are beautiful women, created with the love of God, perfect and complete, so we deserve a man that accepts us as we are and is eager to go for it no matter what (commitment).

P.S. By the way, this applies to every man! Don't create the excuse of "he's a Christian," "we're from different backgrounds so communicate different;" "he had a strong experience as a child." No excuses :-)

Lady of Security

This weekend I was anxious because I couldn’t define whether someone likes me or is interested in me as more than a friend. I was even a bit stressed and obsessed with it. And then remember the great lessons from the book “Lady in Waiting”based on the Bible's book of Ruth.

“Why do women experience difficulty being still and waiting for the man to initiate and develop the relationship?” (Kendall & Jones, p. 94). The answer is insecurity because we center our life on something (marriage) or someone (Our Prince) that can be lost or taken away, instead of having it on God that is permanent. Insecurity makes us cling to a relationship or a man; and as Deepak Chopra says, whatever you cling to, you will lose.

God gives us the choice between His plans and ours. And we for sure have a limited perspective on who or where our prince will be. Only God has all things in view, and we should not set for less than God’s best. And trust me, I know this is hard. You may wonder what you can do to get noticed by that man you like, and the answer is nothing. Don’t pursue him, don’t ignore him, and don’t talk about him to ten carefully chosen friends. Just let God do His work on both of you. That’s the only way we can give them the chance to show us they are interested and they are looking to build a relationship with us.

There’s one thing we can do: “turn the whole business to God” (p. 97). Trust that God has his best intention for you and he will take care of you regardless of your circumstances. Be a women secure in God, not in the need to maneuver or manipulate men to get them, because if you maneuver/manipulate to get them you will have to maneuver/manipulate during the whole relationship.

Source: Kendall, Jackie & Jones, Debby. “Lady in Waiting” Expanded Edition.

From Guilt to Liberation

I was reading the other day my journal and ran into this amazing note about how I felt after my confession.

As Catholic, we are recommended to confess at least twice a year (for Advent & Lent), but I have not been in confession for about 5 years. I may have been afraid, embarrassed or just bought into the belief that I didn’t need to confess to another human being.

But I have been growing a lot in my faith during the past few years, so I decided to go to Confession. In summary, it has been the best confession I have ever had. The setting was in a lawn surrounded by green and an amazing California weather. There were just 2 chairs on the lawn. The priest is from Italian background and so loving and compassionate. As soon as he noticed I was nervous, he knew I hadn’t done it in a long time. He forgot all the formality of the confession process and started a conversation with me.

He was focused on connecting with me, understanding my emotions. He shared with me similar personal challenges he had faced and helped me understand how I can overcome those temptations. He asked me to practice forgiving myself so I can be quick at forgiving others and to practice gratitude so I can let go of my pride. I didn’t get a penance but I got some action steps to practice during the day.

But beyond all, I felt so loved, forgiven and liberated… even people told me that I looked so happy and like with 50 pounds off my back.

Forgive and Forget: The Story with My Ex-Husband

I have been now divorced for 7 years, and I recently decided to pursue the annulment of the Catholic marriage. Throughout this process, I have faced the fear of not being able to start a new family and then the guilt and embarrassment for being so immature in the past. But I overcame all that thanks to the Grace of God and the love and care of friends and family.

This December, I had my appointment at the Ecclesiastical Tribunal to start the demand for the annulment. The lady was so encouraging, telling me the importance of now start thinking on my future and the man I want God to send me. She was joking about me writing a letter to God this Christmas asking for the 5 C’s: Catholic, Committed, with Cash, Car, and Check Book.

But then, she mentioned the unavoidable: contacting my ex-husband so that the process can go smoothly and avoid any delays in the process.

After a few years of the separation and then divorce, I had managed to forgive him and myself for all that happened, but had never thought of getting back in touch with him. I had disappeared from everyone related to him all these years. But committed as I am to getting this annulment, I started searching for ways to get his contact information.

It took contacting 4 of his friends. All of them were somehow surprised to hear from me, but also glad for it. It was so nice to hear from all of them, just like time had not passed. Everyone was very helpful and supportive, which was a great teaching from God as I thought that people had taken parts when we separated.

I then talked to my ex-husband, and it was down to business. I informed him on the process, ask for some information, and then wished happy holidays. It was that! It was nothing… no emotions, no pain, no anger, just nothing… and I’m so thankful to God from freeing myself from any negative feeling related to him.

This is the first time that I have consciously forgiving and forgetting. It’s liberating to know, for sure, that I have gone through this process in such a positive way. Now, I’m certain that the Lord has put this mission in front of me (getting the annulment) because He has great things in store for me.

2011 will be a great year: a year of liberation & new beginnings!

The Gift & Skill of Patience

During the last few months, I have faced different situations that have challenged my patience. These include getting my new job in California, moving my projects along at work, and discovering whether a relationship is more than a friendship. Throughout these experiences, I have found moments when I push for things to happen or to develop. At some point, I may even feel restless, thinking I may be trying too hard without getting any result.
The importance of being patient came to mind, and I did a bit of research on what patience entails. We practice patience with people (when wronged, offended, rejected, or treated unfairly); in trials, inconveniences and when things go wrong; and with ourselves, our personal expectations, aspirations and weaknesses. It is a skill we decide to develop, not an inherited trait.

Patience is about delaying our response and avoiding implulsive fight, fright, or flight (escape) responses. The root words in Greek are:
(1) Makrothumia or long temper. This means delayed reaction to anger, wrath, retaliation, & judgment; and
(2) Hupomeno or to abide under. This implies delayed reaction of frustration, despair, panic, escape, isolation, and running away.

Patience is somehow a gift; and the Bible in facts listed it as one of the graces from the Holy Spirit. To have patience, we need to have hope & love. Hope is what gives us the endurance and the capability of delaying our response. It is about having hope & trust that God will take care of things and clarify the situation for you.

Why is it so hard then? I honestly believe that it’s the fact that we struggle balancing our drive with patience; our intention and commitment to achieve a goal and our ability to let go of the results of our actions. This is an everyday practice of balance. Here are a few tips I found online. Try them when you see things not going your way:
(1) Develop realistic expectations. Learn to expect and plan for things not always going smoothly so you will be prepared if you encounter complications and be pleased if you don't.
(2) Realize that setbacks are only temporary. Resilient people choose to view difficult times as temporary setbacks, believing that the difficulty will pass.
(3) Employ a problem solving attitude instead of choosing to be a victim. People who see themselves as victims seem to believe the world is out to get them, while problem solvers can clearly see what they can and cannot change without taking things so personally.
(4) Have faith that you can overcome a difficult situation. Be patient knowing that if you have overcome a difficulty before that you can use that as encouragement to get through life's ups and downs.
(5) Be aware of triggers that cause you to become impatient. If it's something you can change, take steps to change it. If not, then adjust your attitude and mindset accordingly

Source: http://www.ehow.com/how_2238712_be-patient.html