He’s Not That Into You Moments

This audiobook is by far one of the funniest things I have heard, but at the same time it’s so liberating!

It frees us women from over-thinking, playing scenarios, and creating excuses for our fellow men. And more importantly, it takes us back to the good-old-times.

My fellow sisters, love is not complicated. If men are interested, they will seek you. If they are not, they will not. Don’t waste your time and beautiful minds in reading between the lines. Don’t confuse any mundane interaction for a date. If he really wants a date, he will ask you out on a date (point blank!). Honestly, it’s so liberating!

There’s not such thing as, “I wanted to slow it down” or “Let’s take some time off.” Why if everything is moving towards the right direction, will you need to slow down? But then, we creative women go with our fantastic reasoning and think that they may be afraid, etc. If he has fears, would you like to marry a guy afraid to make a move or a decision?

Ultimately, God works in marvelous ways and if he is not "the" one is because God has a better, bigger plan in mind. Remember He is higher than us and have a better perspective and outlook in life. Besides, every experience with our fellow brothers is an opportunity for us to grow and learn for the next experience. And please try hard not to create stories on his frustrated past to excuse him, or spend time thinking on all the “would haves” behind your actions… there’s nothing you could have done different for a different outcome. What was is what is the best.

We are beautiful women, created with the love of God, perfect and complete, so we deserve a man that accepts us as we are and is eager to go for it no matter what (commitment).

P.S. By the way, this applies to every man! Don't create the excuse of "he's a Christian," "we're from different backgrounds so communicate different;" "he had a strong experience as a child." No excuses :-)

Lady of Security

This weekend I was anxious because I couldn’t define whether someone likes me or is interested in me as more than a friend. I was even a bit stressed and obsessed with it. And then remember the great lessons from the book “Lady in Waiting”based on the Bible's book of Ruth.

“Why do women experience difficulty being still and waiting for the man to initiate and develop the relationship?” (Kendall & Jones, p. 94). The answer is insecurity because we center our life on something (marriage) or someone (Our Prince) that can be lost or taken away, instead of having it on God that is permanent. Insecurity makes us cling to a relationship or a man; and as Deepak Chopra says, whatever you cling to, you will lose.

God gives us the choice between His plans and ours. And we for sure have a limited perspective on who or where our prince will be. Only God has all things in view, and we should not set for less than God’s best. And trust me, I know this is hard. You may wonder what you can do to get noticed by that man you like, and the answer is nothing. Don’t pursue him, don’t ignore him, and don’t talk about him to ten carefully chosen friends. Just let God do His work on both of you. That’s the only way we can give them the chance to show us they are interested and they are looking to build a relationship with us.

There’s one thing we can do: “turn the whole business to God” (p. 97). Trust that God has his best intention for you and he will take care of you regardless of your circumstances. Be a women secure in God, not in the need to maneuver or manipulate men to get them, because if you maneuver/manipulate to get them you will have to maneuver/manipulate during the whole relationship.

Source: Kendall, Jackie & Jones, Debby. “Lady in Waiting” Expanded Edition.

From Guilt to Liberation

I was reading the other day my journal and ran into this amazing note about how I felt after my confession.

As Catholic, we are recommended to confess at least twice a year (for Advent & Lent), but I have not been in confession for about 5 years. I may have been afraid, embarrassed or just bought into the belief that I didn’t need to confess to another human being.

But I have been growing a lot in my faith during the past few years, so I decided to go to Confession. In summary, it has been the best confession I have ever had. The setting was in a lawn surrounded by green and an amazing California weather. There were just 2 chairs on the lawn. The priest is from Italian background and so loving and compassionate. As soon as he noticed I was nervous, he knew I hadn’t done it in a long time. He forgot all the formality of the confession process and started a conversation with me.

He was focused on connecting with me, understanding my emotions. He shared with me similar personal challenges he had faced and helped me understand how I can overcome those temptations. He asked me to practice forgiving myself so I can be quick at forgiving others and to practice gratitude so I can let go of my pride. I didn’t get a penance but I got some action steps to practice during the day.

But beyond all, I felt so loved, forgiven and liberated… even people told me that I looked so happy and like with 50 pounds off my back.