The act of faith is not easy to make. It demands, among other things, that
we gamble real life on hope, that we give up what we already possess, see, and
understand, for something that we do not yet possess, see, or understand. It is
not easy, or natural, to make the leap of faith, to learn to live life and draw
support from that which is beyond what we can experience naturally.”
- - from A Restless Heart
Would you be willing to leave a perfect, comfortable life
with the security of a good salary, support system, social life, etc.? Many would stay within their current
lives, instead of starting something new, that we may not know perfectly how
things would work. Either way is good… but one would be better.
A Franciscan nun offered me a thought during my
decision-making process about moving from NYC to Panama. It was that the
hardest decision is when we need to choose and differentiate between good and
better. And the most important principle is to never let good get in the way of
better.
Deciding between good and better is a difficult task because
we could potentially continue doing what we are doing and be perfectly happy.
The challenge is that we would never know if choosing the other option of life
would get us to a better place. For this reason, it is important to understand
the intention of our hearts in leaning towards one option versus another, as
well as to dedicate time for discernment and reflection.
In my case, my current situation at that time was my life in
NYC and ultimately the USA. I was doing pretty well at work, while having such
an active life in the city. I had different groups of friends and was giving
back to my Church community as never before. It was hard for me to think about
being in a better place than the comfort I gained in the USA, where I knew how
to find a job, how to make friends quickly, and had a support system from every
city I have lived in.
Here is where the second thought made the difference for me:
do not let good gets into the way of better. Being able to choose which option
was good or better was tricky and required much reflection. I took time to
visualize each one of my options and then write down pros/cons, feelings and
concerns associated with the life I imagined. Reality is that I could not think
of any other reason to stay in USA other than the security of work and
money. That had nothing to do with
our mission as Christians, which is love.
Panama offered me the support and love of my family. It has
been more than a decade since I left Panama, and there is a lot of fear
involved in going there. My family does not really know how I have changed; my
friends are not used to have me as part of their lives; I have never had the
need to find a job there; and Panama is a society that moves with contacts and
social status and I have none of those. However, Panama is my home, where my
heart is along with all my loved ones.
… So I chose Panama, a country full of unknown to me. All I
can do now is to be excited about this adventure, trusting that God did not put
this desire in my heart for no good reason.
