Sunday, November 21, 2010

Do you "Crawl" OR "Fall" In Love?

Earlier this year, I had a "girl's spa day" with a friend, who had just broken up with her boyfriend. In between teas, while listening to her story, I couldn't avoid relating all the drama to one of my books, called "If the Buddha dated."

We need to apply more consciousness and awareness to our relationships. "To maintain equilibrium and keep a clear mind, we need to err on the side of the turtle" instead of the mouse. This is especially important is we have a history of troublesome relationships. If we think about it, once a woman gives up her heart, her body is not far along, so it's better to safeguard and protect our hearts as we build a friendship first before romance.

"Crawling in love is different from falling in love, or in lust, because you stay connected to your intelligence. Falling in love, which is kind of like falling out of your neocortex into your more primitive instincts, can feel euphoric, but it also bears traits of depression... When we fall in love and project the image of The Perfect One onto our new love interest, it implies that we are incomplete the way we are." And we cannot expect a man, marriage, or even a career to complete us. This is the job of God/Jesus, who is permanent, consistent, perfect, and our guide/rock/protector.

We need to stay present and attentive to any anticipation that overwhelms us or gets our perspective foggy (making us run into falling). We need to stay true to our intentions and expectations. Ask, "What crazy expectations am I feeding myself? Am I projecting the image of the all-loving mother, the father who will take care of me, the great wedding, or the picture book life?" Stay present and avoid getting involved in the dreams of marriage, perfect love, and happily ever after. I know this could be hard in today's society that teaches us to play games, secure the man, etc., but it's about applying spirituality to our relationships. And for that, we cannot let worldly influences to control our actions.

Even though I am single, I am sure that "when we crawl in love we are more likely to find the true fire of hearts meeting because our bond is based on a wide array of experiences, time together, familiarity, and the ability to talk over conflict. Sex and love will flourish alongside the rich, warm feeling that comes from an enduring bond where people dwell in each other's hearts."

I have decided to crawl into love... and yes, it requires patience, faith, endurance, trust in God, and conviction. So today I encourage us all (men & women) to crawl into love so we can discern and make good choices for life.

What do you think? Are you ready to crawl?

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